Tag Archives: sisters

a day late, but here’s a dollar

12 Nov

Sister #3 bought me booze when I was underage, and is the whole reason there is a story about me that ends with the nickname, “Little Miss Vodka Pants.”

But that’s another story for another time.

She recently invited herself along on a trip to Rome with some family friends, where, I learned through Facebook, she may or may not have given some nuns a What For about bathroom line cutting.

And let’s face it. Sometimes nuns need to be given a What For. They’re not saints, you know. Nuns are people too. Holy people, but people nonetheless. And my sister? Apparently she has no problem reminding them of the fact that other people have to pee, too, and just because you’re in a habit doesn’t mean you get to go to the front of the line. (It’s not like they had one of those Super Awesome Passes like at Disney World that lets you go to the front of the ride lines. Last time I checked, the Vatican did not work like that.) This is one of many reasons why I love her so much.

Happy birthday (yesterday), Sister #3. If you were here, I would hold your drink while you went to the bathroom (because I know how much it wigs you out when people bring their drinks into the bathroom), and then when you came out I’d hand it back to you, and I’d buy you a gyro after and say, “Happy birthday. This is beautiful, is it velvet? I love you very much.”


and then there were three

11 Nov

When sister #3 is ready to go, she is Ready to Go. And you’d better be on board or you should probably just get out of her way. This is nothing new; she likes punctuality and really, she’s been this way since the beginning. When she was ready to get born, it only took her 20 minutes to get out there and greet the world.

She is passionate about the White Sox and will rattle off names and throw in a stat or four if you ask, and as a bonus she will give you her personal thoughts on specific players. Pay attention, she knows of what she speaks and will smack you down if you dare challenge her.

Sister #3 also throws great parties, the kind where people are always shouting and laughing and general tomfoolery occurs. She is outgoing and makes friends easily and if you don’t like her it’s probably because you are either A) boring, or 2) stupid. Sister #3 can be demanding, and why shouldn’t she be? But she will take your suggestions into consideration, and she is not opposed to trying new things. In fact, she loves new things, especially if they are new travel-things. Foods…eh, maybe not so much. But it doesn’t take much to get Sister #3 on a plane. She’ll go just about anywhere.

She is smart and she is funny. She is loyal and loves muchly, even when she is annoyed or irritated with you. She will always be there to give you advice (even if you don’t want it) and a cup of booze or a cigarette if you really need one. She is the friend and the sibling you want to call if you ever need to make bail. (Not that I know this from experience, I’m just saying.)

Sister #3 is lovely and bossy and has a beautiful smile and if I was with her right now I would put on the movie Overboard and hand her the cocktail of her choice on a silver platter and say, “Happy birthday, I love you very much.”