questions i’ve been meaning to ask you, part one

20 May

One: Whatever happened to the Offspring? They had some pretty good tunes, like Come Out and Play and Smash It Up, a song that was on the Batman Forever soundtrack. Which is actually a really good soundtrack, you guys—U2, Nick Cave, PJ Harvey. I know it’s from the summer before my junior year of high school, but the album holds up. Or is that just me?

Two: Why is everyone so astounded and why do they think it’s so magical that Eskimos have 50 different words for snow? How is this anything special? I’ve got at least five different words I can think of off the top of my head for underwear—underpants, chonies, (everyone’s favorite) panties, pantaloons, undercrackers. I mean, I could go on. No one thinks it’s amazing that I have that many names for underwear. What’s so special about the Eskimos?

Three: Why doesn’t it say, “objects in mirror closer than they appear” anymore on car side mirrors anymore? Granted, on our car, we don’t have a passenger’s side mirror anymore, so it doesn’t say or reflect anything at all, and it hasn’t for the past five years, ever since I swiped past a car on Davenport Avenue on my way to the grocery store. (Sorry, neighbor!) But it doesn’t have those words on the driver’s side mirror.

Why doesn’t the driver’s side mirror have those words? Do car manufacturers just assume we all know? What about new drivers? You know, kids these days aren’t as smart as they used to be, or maybe they’re smarter because of the Internet, but they shouldn’t be googling about physics and driving at the same time. So how are they supposed to know that objects in mirror are closer than they appear, unless the words are on the mirror itself?

What questions are on your mind, Interwebers?

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