addendum to how to survive a chicago winter, or, an ode to fleece-lined leggings, but not so much to mascara

21 Jan

Recently, it became winter in Chicago. And I know this because people hither and thither are complaining about the weather, and acting somewhat surprised that the skies have gone gray and that some days there are absolutely no degrees registered on thermometers. People are righteously angry about winter, like the Scooby-Doo gang slipped in during the night and stole summer from us, when, as I may have mentioned before, This Is Chicago And Winter Happens.

But that’s not the point. The point is winter is here and sometimes my legs get cold and let’s all take a moment to bless the heavens above for fleece-lined leggings.

What? Fleece-lined leggings are ah-MAY-zing, and don’t let anybody try and tell you differently. No, they’re not bulky. Yes, they are warm. No, they don’t sag at the knees. Yes, they come in sparkly colors.

So let’s add fleece-lined leggings to my invaluable list of How To Survive a Chicago Winter. Don said leggings on those days you’re feeling chilled, yet your desire to be stylish is still in tact. Your life will then remain amazing.

And while we’re on the subject of style, may I suggest not wearing mascara during winter? With the way the air stings the eyes, making them water instantly, there’s just no point. By the time you walk the fifty feet from your front door to the bus stop, there are black rings under your eyes that rival Alice Cooper’s, and I guess you could get waterproof mascara, but what’s worse—not wearing mascara, Alice Cooper eyes, or little bits of flaked mascara that trip down your cheeks and make you look like an extra from Step In Time?

(Answer, option #3)

I may or may not have conducted firsthand research to prove my hypothesis.

You’re welcome. And, I’m sorry. I like mascara too. Don’t worry. It’ll be spring soon. Ish.

Maybe.

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