things i’ve been meaning to tell you: january 2015

7 Jan

1) We got a dog.

Did I tell you this already? I’m not sure I did, seeing as how for the past two months I’ve been quite willy-nilly with this blog. But we did. We rescued a pitbull mix of a puppy, a black and white ball of laziness in October, and named her Juniper. We started out simply fostering her, which lasted a whole three days, at which point one and both of us declared that if you try and take our dog away from us, one and both of us will shank a bitch.

Go ahead. Try it. I will shank a bitch if you touch my dog.  Look at that face! You would do the same thing.

Go ahead. Try it. I will shank a bitch if you touch my dog. Look at that face! You would do the same thing.

So now the McPolish-Swede household is a family of five, the humans are outnumbered by the animals, and it’s come to my knowledge that when I am away from my animal house I hate it. Our little family feels complete with this fifty-pound bag of bones hogging the bed and desperately wanting to be friends with the cats, neither of who want anything to do with Juniper. The only thing the dog is good for, in their eyes, is that it allows them to increase their bitching quotient exponentially so they can fully express the injustice they feel about us bringing a dog in the house.

This is the world in which I choose to live. Why? I’m not entirely sure.


2)  There was a lot of traveling happening at the end of October and beginning of November (yes, right about the same time we got the dog, which was completely inconvenient, but if life ever becomes convenient I think I may just up and shit myself)—I was in DC twice within two weeks, once for a conference, once for a wedding, and then I was in Phoenix for work, followed by a stop off in El Paso to visit some friends, which is really the only reason anyone should go to El Paso. Don’t let Aaron Sanchez on The Best Thing I Ever Ate fool you into thinking that the reason to go to El Paso is for Chico’s Tacos. It’s not. It’s not even A reason to go to El Paso, unless you enjoy eating tomato soup poured over rolled tacos and smothered in cheese. (Actually, when put that way, it doesn’t sound half bad. But trust me when I say it’s not terrible, it’s just not the Be All End All of El Paso. That honor is saved for our friend, the Romanian, and the kick ass ribs he made for us on Saturday night. THAT is a reason to go to El Paso. Tell him McPolish sent you.)

ANYWAY, the point is that in that month of travel I discovered something very, very important: While I do enjoy traveling to places near and far, I am not cut out for the constant travel lifestyle on my lonesome. I’m just not. Traveling for weeks on end to many several different places throws me all off my game and I never know if I’m coming or going. Sometimes Swede was with me, but more often he was not. And then I get weepy and miss my main squeeze and my animal house and poor Swede gets voicemails of me warbling Shannon McNally at him, and really it’s just a shitshow of me being a pansy. So, to recap: Travel = good, great even. Traveling often by myself = less good. Though on the plus side, I did score the sun salutations seat on the flight to El Paso, which made things slightly better.

Sun Salutations


3)    Netflix has been coming out guns a-blazing lately with the early- to mid-00s shows they’re streaming—Gilmore Girls, Chuck, Alias. It’s like re-watching my twenties from the comfort of my bed and with the knowledge I’m much less stupid now than I was then, all the while marveling at how far we’ve come with cell phone technology.

4)    In a fit of organizational pursuit, I spent approximately $5,789 on various racks and risers and baskets from Amazon to better organize a few rooms in our animal house, including, but not limited to: the bathroom, the laundry room, and the kitchen. Okay, actually, that’s about eighty percent of the makeup of our home, but whatever. What I’m trying to tell you is that I have all the tools I need to pare down, alphabetize, organize, straighten, hang, stack, or any other configuration for the variety of foodstuffs and analgesics and towels that are constantly shoved in various cabinets with no rhyme or reason. I’m terribly excited about this, and have spent the past two weeks since the arrival of the purchases smiling at the boxes and regaling them with platitudes of how awesome they are and how awesome they will be in my life and generally just looking at the organizational cures rather than actually employing them.

I’m taking it one step at a time, you guys. These things can’t be rushed, you know.










4 Responses to “things i’ve been meaning to tell you: january 2015”

  1. Swede January 7, 2015 at 9:38 AM #

    Chico’s Tacos really was remarkably lame

  2. Sarah Whitmore January 7, 2015 at 9:45 AM #

    Juniper is adorable! Congrats!


  1. things i’ve been meaning to tell you: march 2015 | - March 11, 2015

    […] When we first got the dog, she used to spend quite a bit of time in front of the oven, staring and huffing and woofing at her […]

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