csb catch up: fresh strawberry cake, or, yet another awesome failure in the kitchen isweari’mnotasdumbasilook

25 Jul

Because of recent events, like moving and starting a new job, I totally fell off the motherfucking baking train.

(You didn’t know there was a baking train, did you? Well there is. And it smells like vanilla and pumpkin pie and unicorns. Ta daaa!)

Which is kind of a huge disappointment to me, because though I never expressed it on paper, in my head  I really wanted to achieve the goal of baking all 12 months of the Cake Slice Bakers this year. And I was on a pretty good track (here, here, here, here and here—WOW, there have been some epic failures) and then SPLAT. I moved. And am a bit vagabondish, without a kitchen to call my own.

But a few weekends ago I decided I could just as easily call someone else’s kitchen my own (NOBODY HAS TO KNOW! EXCEPT NOW YOU DO!). The Swede and I were watching the Chicken Nugget for the weekend, and on Saturday night, while Chicken Nugget snoozed soundly and The Swede jaunted off to the Mad Hatter’s Ball with a friend, I pulled out my sister’s Kitchenaid and various and sundry ingredients, and set to work to catch up on the cakes I’ve missed.

Erm, well, at least one cake I’ve missed.

Full disclosure: Post-goodnighting the Chicken Nugget and pre-departure for the ball, The Swede, His Pal Dave and I may have partaken of this, which The Swede and His Pal Dave picked up on their earlier afternoon outing to a local distillery:

Stand back! Wild turkey's a-foot!

I regret nothing. (Also, for the record, I only partook of the gin.) (WHAT?)

Though it may explain the phenomenal shitshow of a cake that would come later.

So anyway, I set about my merry baking way for the fresh strawberry cake with white chocolate chips which was the chosen cake for June. I scooped, I whisked, I sliced, I threw shit in a bowl, vaguely looking at the directions and measurements. Because it was Saturday night! I was living it up! F YOU, 2 teaspoons of vanilla! I can’t find you, SO I’M LEAVING YOU OUT!* One cup of white chocolate chips MY ASS! WE’RE ADDING THE WHOLE BAG! AND SOME GIN! FOR GOOD MEASURE! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT THE MIXER? STOP YELLING AT THE MIXER OR YOU’LL WAKE THAT BABY UP. AND THAT WILL PUT A SERIOUS CRAMP IN YOUR BAKING. AND GIN. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE’LL WANT TO SHARE.

And after all of that, I ended up with an oozy, falling apart hot mess that once again had to go BACK into the oven to finish baking, and even then it was served up was STILL a hot messandItotallyforgottotakepicturesofitIblamethegin. So instead you can have a picture of the luscious strawberries that went into the cake.

Surprisingly, it tasted pretty good. The Swede had some for breakfast the next morning, as did the Chicken Nugget.**

(Yes, I let him eat cake for breakfast. THERE WAS FRUIT IN IT. What are aunts for? Cake with a side of veggie sausage patties is a perfectly fine breakfast.)

But then again, that kid will eat anything, so I don’t really trust his judgment.

But here, have a picture of him anyway to make up for my lack of cake picture. He’s so disappointed in Aunt Molly and her shoddy cake-making skills as of late. Whatever, kid. Have another veggie patty, buck-o.

WTF, woman? Where's The Swede? There's got to be at least one responsible adult around here.

*Seriously, why can I never find/am always out of vanilla?

**Don’t worry, I didn’t actually put gin in the cake. We don’t start our kids on liquor-soaked baked goods until they’re at least three years old, so he’s still got another year to go. 


12 Responses to “csb catch up: fresh strawberry cake, or, yet another awesome failure in the kitchen isweari’mnotasdumbasilook”

  1. Elle July 25, 2011 at 1:30 PM #

    Hilarious post…Chicken Nugget is one lucky little guy to have you as an aunt…even if the cake sucked. Gorgeous berries though. 🙂

  2. Mykie July 25, 2011 at 5:28 PM #

    I always fall foul to the ‘one substitution too many’ style of recipe modification. My worst offence was subbing tomatoes in a bolognese with oranges…

    • mollystrz July 26, 2011 at 11:05 AM #


  3. emily July 25, 2011 at 8:50 PM #

    Good for You! Back with Us! Now that you are back, keep it up!

    I can be sure to be entertained visiting you!

    • mollystrz July 26, 2011 at 11:05 AM #

      Thanks, Emily! It’s good to be back….even for the moment!

  4. The Swede July 26, 2011 at 8:58 AM #

    That cake was fantastic. To be fair, it did need to be eaten/scrapped out of the pan with a spoon. Appearance wise, this was not the greatest cake ever made. But, damn, it was moist and luscious and joyful on the tongue. The short patoot and I both heartily enjoyed it… you’ll note we ate the whole damn thing.

  5. Steph July 26, 2011 at 9:49 AM #

    That chicken nugget has attitude. I love it. Man, you really are the cool Aunt Molly.

  6. Monica H July 26, 2011 at 3:03 PM #

    You’re so funny! I’m gla dyou were able to make this cake, because it was good. Mine was a little gooey and a little fugly too, but nothing a little whipped cream, fresh strawberries and gin can’t fix 🙂

    Hope you get into your own kitchen soon to bake some more with us!

    Chicken Nugget looks seriously pissed. ha!

    • emily July 28, 2011 at 1:16 AM #

      Monica’s last sentence cracked me up good! hahahahaha


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