I was warned before I went over.
“People are going to stare at you,” Turner said. “You’re tall and very pale. They’re going to stare at you a lot.”
To be honest, I didn’t really notice people staring at me, but that was probably because I was too busy either A) staring back at them, or 2) staring at some lovely mosaic or architecture, or III) distracted by shiny, colorful objects that seemed to be everywhere, or #) too busy buying pottery to notice.
What I did notice, however, were the pickup lines.
As we squeezed our way through the crowded streets of the different medinas*the lines would sometimes come fast and furious, and other times would be nothing more than a hiss.
Because hissing is sexy! Hissing definitely makes me want to make out with you, lover!
Each day became a game to see if the next pick up line could top one from the day before. They were all just so…so…incredible, in their phrasing, in their individuality, in their mastery of the English language. **
While the quantity of lovely affirmations thrown our way was admirable, there were really only a few gems of quality in the mix.
There was the man who called out plaintively, wistfully, as we trekked back to our car, ready to head out of Marrakech, “Oh! Goodbye my ladies! You are my dream!”
And there was the man who asked slyly, “You want my schwarma?” (He won points for creativity and play on words.)
And let’s not forget the man who discretely chucked a Clementine peel at me. Errm…huh. Wait, maybe he wasn’t trying to pick me up.
There was also the man who asked with a leer, “You want to suck my cock?” which I originally misheard as “You want to smell my cock?”*** (Either way, no thank you.)
But the best line of all that we heard was in Fes, and was short and to the point. The young man looked at Turner, raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders at her querying simply: “Moroccan husband?”
Turner declined politely.
She didn’t think her American husband would appreciate her saying otherwise.
*I swear, you’d think all I did on my trip was wander through the various medinas. It’s only half-true. The other half of the time was sitting on the couch watching Gossip Girl.
**We were told by many people that they’d learned to speak English by watching American movies.
***Either way, I’d like to know which American movie he learned THAT one from.