10 thoughts on how to become an international travel guru

7 Feb

Now that I have leapt over the hurdle of international travel for the first time in 12 years, I think it’s safe to say that I am a World Class Traveler (WCT), and I’d like you to address me as such.

In fact, I think I might change the name of this blog from McPolish to WCT McPolish, just so the magnitude of my accomplishment can be noted daily in your Google Readers and blogrolls.

(Pulls out pen and makes note to self. “For March—continue to be amazing.”)

That in mind, I’d like to share with you some of the profound thoughts I had about travel while on my overnight flight to Paris. You might want to take notes.

  1. Air France might be the only civilized airline left. Yes, I will have a glass of your free French white wine, thank you, flight attendant.
  2. Reading my travel book on Morocco would be a good idea. I can highlight some of the sights and cities I’d like to see, maybe some of the…. Ooo! Look! I can watch Bridget Jones’ Diary!
  3. Why don’t Americans wear paper crowns at Christmas?
  4. This wine is pretty tasty for being airline wine.
  5. I really like you, second-free-bottle-of-wine-no-questions-asked, just as you are.
  6. Zzzzzzz…
  7. Holy Jesus, I need some water.
  8. OMG, WHERE’S MY PASSPORT? WHERE THE HELL…Oh…whew. Never mind.
  9. I love this Pick-Your-Own movie function they’ve got going here.
  10. OMG, Sex & the City 2 is the stupidest fucking movie I’ve ever seen.

And that, my friends, is how you do international travel. Feel free to contact me with any other questions you may have, such as “Why shouldn’t I tell the customs agents I’m a journalist?” or “As a lady, how do you use a Turkish toilet without peeing on yourself?” Now that I am so insightful and so, well, world class, in my travel, I look forward to sharing my wise knowledge with you all.

You’re welcome.


2 Responses to “10 thoughts on how to become an international travel guru”

  1. Felice February 7, 2011 at 2:53 PM #

    Sounds like a wonderful trip. I think you are now ready to make a travel documentary and/or a travel book. I remember years ago traveling to Hong Kong, and the most important piece of travel advice I got was to bring little packets of tissues because the restrooms don’t always have paper. If you fly Qantas you also get complimentary wine, beer, and spirits.


  1. travel tips you’ve always never wanted « McPolish.com - September 19, 2012

    […] on this trip I picked up new! and improved! travel tips since my last international adventure, and I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t […]

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