easy-peasy recipeasy time

17 Jun

Dear Non-Pork-Eating Readers,

Please disregard the following post.



Dear Pork-Eating Readers,





It started with the grocery store. I was supposed to get pork tenderloin, had the recipe all mapped out in my head. Pork tenderloin, pork tenderloin, pork tenderloin.

And then I got to the meat section.

Where regular old pork loin, twice the amount of its tenderloin brethren, was on special for less the amount of the aforementioned go-to tenderloin.

I debated.

And pondered.

And wondered.

And checked my math.

Checked my math about five different times, actually. Called The Swede over to have him check my math as well.

And then forewent the tenderloin and bought the pork loin, all 5+ pounds of it.

Even though the girls were coming over for a TND, and even though we’ve been known to put away multiple pounds of food that would bring even the Chicago Bears’ defensive line to its knees, I knew we wouldn’t eat the entire 5 pounds of pork loin.

So I did what any good cook would do—I cut that sucker in two and froze half of it.

And then I launched myself into a frenzied interwebs search for how the shit to cook a pork loin.

Have you ever watched Down Home With the Neelys? I used to watch it every so often when I had cable.
Sigh. I miss you, HGTV. Not so much you, Food Network, because I’d kind of burned out on you when my cable went kaput, but recently I’ve really been missing House Hunters and those first-time home buying shows. Those were the days.


Right, the Neelys. I love them. They’re just so darn cute. And also now they’re so my heroes, for providing me with this delicious and super-simple recipe for Honey Dijon Mustard Pork Loin.

Note: I have no idea where the honey part of this came in. I just used regular Dijon mustard.

Note Note: Their cooking time is totally off. I find this true with most pork tenderloin or pork loin cooking times. TOTALLY. OFF. I think I ended up cooking the pork loin for at least double what they recommended. And yes I preheated the oven.

This recipe couldn’t be simpler.

Sear the pork loin.

Sear it good!

Sing a song about “sear it good” and wish that you had a red had that looks like a piece to an old board game that you can’t remember the name of.

When a pork loin comes along…you must Sear It! When the mustard’s not too strong, you must Sear It!



Mix up the mustard sauce with the new paintbrush you bought at the Safeway and wonder how you’ve lived this long without a kitchen paintbrush.

Sing to the paintbrush.

It’s okay. Go ahead.

Sing it good!

Paint the pork.

Paint it good!

(I’d stop with all this Devo madness but I just can’t.)

Then just throw it, oven-safe pan and all, into the oven and let it cook until it’s done. (Which will NOT be, as I previously mentioned as the directions state, 20 minutes later.)

And voila!

After you let the meat rest a little bit, carve it up (carve it good!) and serve it up and eat it…


Okay, I swear. I’m done now with the Devo.

At least for today.


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