Remember when I did my Fantasy Football draft? And had no idea what I was doing? Guess what?
I came in last in my league!
I win! For the least amount of games won! And points scored! Or something like that!
But I win!
Alright, technically speaking, I broke even, because the prize for being the best of the worst (wait…what?) is $20, which is what it cost me to get into the league in the first place. So I’m happy to say that my first—and last—season of Fantasy Football was a success. And by success I mean a wash.
On to chicken!
My friend Cass, who was the co-person-in-charge of the fantasy football league sent me a package the other day, and besides said package containing a check for $20 and a very lovely note informing me that I was the best of the worst in our league (awww, shucks!), she also enclosed a pair of onion goggles and an apron. The onion goggles, she explained, were something she saw and had to get for me, because she has so enjoyed my cooking adventures on this here blog over the past almost-a-year. But then she thought it would be weird just to send me onion goggles, so she sent me an apron she’d made herself as well, which is a lovely red and green striped to-do, and for some reason she thinks that the apron strings are WAY too long and will wrap around me twice, though clearly she underestimated the power of my eating skillz and those apron strings? They wrap around only once, thank you very much. I HAVE THE MAD EATING SKILLZ! It is okay to be jealous. But be more jealous of my awesome new apron, which I haven’t taken a picture of, but of which I will, so I can show it to you.
Anyway, so now I have onion goggles.
And lo! How they are stylish.
But yet I wondered….are they functional?
So of course I had to put them to the test.
It’s a pretty simple dish, and from Cooking Light, no less. Which means you can eat extra.
So I didn’t do a step-by-step of photos for this one, because, well, I kind of forgot. But trust me when I say it’s super easy, and can be boiled down to the following:
Make some rice. Set it aside. Sprinkle the seasoning mix on the chicken, the cook it in a pan for a few minutes on each side. Then throw the pan in the oven for about 10 minutes.
And then this is where the onion goggles come in. Granted, I’ve made this, and many other dishes before this sans goggles, but I will be honest when I say my life? It has now changed because of the onion goggles.
For the first, it has upped my Stylish Quotient at least tenfold.
For the second, donning the goggles while chopping onions really does save your eyes from watering and tearing and thus ruining your mascara. HOORAY! And even if you aren’t worried about your mascara, but simply do not like it when your eyes get all teary when you chop onions, they are stellar for preventing that, too.
What’s peculiar, though, is that obviously the goggles do not stop the pungency of the onions from wafting up your nose and tickling the little hairs in your nostrils. The sensation is somewhat bizarre in that you feel like you need to sneeze or blow your nose, but you can’t, because the accompanying eye-waterworks that egg the process on are blocked. Peculiar, but not unwelcome.
Thus: Happy chopper!
And so I cooked my chicken dish in peace and dry eyes.
So! After you chop the onion, and some garlic for good measure, feel free to leave the goggles on while you cook the rest of the meal. It’s just funner that way, let’s be honest. So you cook the two fragrant ingredients together in some olive oil for about three minutes.
Then add in your cooked rice and a can of black-eyed peas, undrained. That’s the important part. You will WANT to drain those peas, but don’t. DON’T! Trust This Girl on this one. The juice (what?) is key. Add in some Tabasco sauce for kick, and let it all heat through.
Then dish it up with a chicken breast on top, and if you want, sprinkle some chopped green onion on top (which, whoops, I forgot here, and now have a bunch of green onion sitting in my fridge) and waaa-laaah, you have dinner!
Or in my case, lunch for the next day!
Because sometimes I can actually get it together enough to do things like that. You know…planning ahead for the week and whatnot.
It’s the onion goggles! They make me invincible! And organized!