month three of the csb, or: at least i’ve got the cupcake thing down

21 Dec

Dear Interwebs,

Hi! How are you? I am fine.

Recently I made cupcakes for my secret interwebs baking club. Well, I was supposed to make a layer cake, but last month I fucked it up! Ha ha!  So this month I decided that I would modify the recipe and make it into cupcakes instead. I really like cupcakes! And I make pretty good ones, too!

I set about making this month’s selection, white chocolate layer cake with white chocolate frosting, and everything went swimmingly. Kind of. Until it didn’t. Because that, apparently, is how I roll when it comes to these things.

There I was, Interwebs, in the kitchen – I even had my apron on, that is how dedicated I am to my craft, I wear an apron – banging around and trying not to elbow myself in pancreas because yes, my kitchen is that small. I melted the white chocolate in my makeshift double-boiler, which, let’s face it, is kind of ghetto, but totally works, and let me be the first to tell you that I’m not the hugest fan of white chocolate. And let me tell you something you already probably know, which is that white chocolate isn’t really chocolate at all. Don’t ask me what it is, because I would just have to tell you, “sugar and sparkles and unicorn poop” as it’s been awhile since I’ve had to write ingredients articles for the snack food magazine. Ah, those were the days, when I had a plethora of useless knowledge about the snack and bakery industry. And had 12 Eli’s cheesecakes delivered to my office.

ANYWAY, Interwebs, can I tell you a secret? I’m telling you this because you are my dear, dear friend, and I know you won’t judge me. Or you might, but I don’t really care because I can’t see your face. (And what would the face of the Interwebs look like? Huh.) I don’t often have very good timing. When it comes to cooking processes and whatnot, that is. There I was, melting away the white chocolate chips, and when it was melted I realized that the boiling water I was supposed to add was no longer boiling and I had to heat it up again and while it was heating up, oh, hey! The white chocolate chips that were all silky and melted were then clumpy and, um, not mixable.

So I had to start over.

And the next time I used a fork to whisk the white chocolate in with the boiling (erm…or just really, really hot) water.

And all was well.

Except then I realized, while mixing the dry ingredients together, oh, hey! I don’t have any baking soda! Huh. Well, it only called for a teensy-tiny amount, so it won’t make that much of a difference, right? RIGHT? (Actually, right. I mean, I guess they would have been a little fluffier, had I had the baking soda. But they certainly weren’t bad.) And onward cupcake soldiers marched. Though if you think I didn’t consider ripping open the Arm & Hammer odor thinger that hangs in my fridge to keep my camembert from stinking up my eggs and using THAT in the cupcakes, You Are Wrong.

All in all, the recipe is pretty straightforward.

Oh, except for that part where they want you to whip egg whites until they are stiff and frothy and fold it into the batter.

(FYI, hence why not having the baking soda didn’t make too much of a difference, from what I can tell, because the egg whites were there to keep the fluff.) (I’m not sure if that’s actually true, but it’s what I’m going with. AND I’M THE BAKING BLOGGER, OKAY?)

So, Interwebs, merrily we rolled along in this Christmas season with the white chocolate cupcakes and whatnot, and from what I could tell when I pulled them out of the oven, they tasted pretty damn good too. And may have actually tasted pretty good when unbaked as well. (RESEARCH.) And Interwebs, I hadn’t even frosted them yet.

Which, oh, hey! I was out of vanilla to add to the frosting like the directions instructed! Oh well. Did I not look in my cabinets before I started baking? Apparently this is the recipe to just throw shit in a bowl, give or take, and see what the hell happens. Turns out, what happens is pretty good. The white chocolate cream cheese frosting was definitely more heaving on the cream cheese flavor than on the white chocolate flavor, but Interwebs, I want to tell you something. If I tell you, will you promise to still write me back? I hope you will, because I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Okay. Here goes.

Cream cheese is one of my favorite food groups.

It totally is a food group! It’s totally one of the six food groups! Bread, cheese, pop, fried foods, salt, and cream cheese. All creating the world’s most perfect food pyramid.

*sighs happily*

And when it all came together, and for the fact that I didn’t have to actually, ya know, FROST a CAKE or something like that, all in all it turned out quite lovely. They cupcakes tasted good, and Interwebs, do you want to know another secret? [lowers  voice] If you want to get out of even icing cupcakes, just cut a hole in the top and stick the frosting in there…no one really gives a hoot how it looks when you just stuff it in with the cake.

My gift to you. Merry Happy Christmas.

That’s all that’s new around here,  Interwebs! I hope you’re doing well out there in…erm…Interwebs-land. Have you gotten a lot of snow? What are you doing for Christmas? How is your family…of…ermm…tubes…that connect you to….huh….my computer? What? Oh hell. Whatevs.

Write back soon!



P.S. If I find the recipe, I will send it!

P.P.S. But I’m not going to type the whole thing out from my print out!

P.P.P.S. So the P.S. is actually pretty unlikely!

P.P.P.P.S. How come it’s always P’s and not multiple Ss?


12 Responses to “month three of the csb, or: at least i’ve got the cupcake thing down”

  1. Katie December 21, 2009 at 10:36 AM #

    Lol it sounds like it was quite an ordeal baking the cupcakes, but they look worht the effort. I agree that having things inside a cake makes up for any unfrosted cake.

  2. Cassie December 21, 2009 at 10:40 AM #

    Because “psssss” looks like you are telling a secret.

    Your cupcakes look yummy.

  3. katie December 21, 2009 at 11:31 AM #

    Cream Cheese is in my food pyramid too! Once added to any cake like food it becomes the holy grail!

  4. Anne December 21, 2009 at 3:52 PM #

    You don’t make pretty good cupcakes. You make excellent cupcakes. I’m just saying.

    • mollystrz December 21, 2009 at 4:00 PM #

      Aw, Benny, you make me blush!

  5. dawn December 21, 2009 at 3:53 PM #

    Cream Cheese totally rocks.

    Love your cupcake battles and triumphs. Very funny 🙂

  6. hotovenwarmheart December 22, 2009 at 10:22 AM #

    Oh my dearest Molly, who I’ve missed tremendously during my prolonged absence from the “Interweb,” and who I absolutely cannot wait to catch up with,

    I am absolutely convinced there is NO better way to start the day than to read one of your always entertaining, simply hilarious, incredibly creative and clever posts. Talk about putting a HUGE smile on my face and a little friendly spring in my step too 🙂 I’m am so so SO sorry I haven’t gotten in touch recently- I’ve had a rough few weeks (which I will certainly catch you up on, just not in my upbeat blog comment… don’t wanna bring the mood down, you know?) Anyways, I really should have reached out and stayed connected, because I’m sure talking with you would have done wonders in keeping my spirits up- one of your many magical powers, besides being an unbelievably industrious baker, who can pull together a beautiful batch of cupcakes minus a chemical leavening agent… super impressive, by the way. I know it’s a busy, crazy, sometimes stressful time of year, but I hope we can touch base soon. I can’t wait to hear all you’ve been up to, and the many delectable creations you’ve whipped up in your kitchen recently! I LOVE the technique you used to fill the cupcakes with the frosting and top them with little cupcake hats- TOO CUTE! And can I tell you I cracked up uncontrollably at the arm&hammer in the refrigerator comment… only you would think of that, but that’s why I love you!

    If you have a chance to stop by the blog and say hi, it would be truly wonderous to get a little message from you. I plan on emailing as soon as I can too! I hope you’re doing well, staying warm and cozy, and recovering from our recent blizzard- at least it will be a White Christmas, right? Wishing you a beautiful holiday celebration and a FABULOUS new year to come- can’t wait to bake, blog, and chat with you all year through!


    • mollystrz December 23, 2009 at 11:20 AM #

      JOY!!! I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed you! We definitely need to catch up – STAT!

  7. Monica H December 22, 2009 at 11:51 PM #

    Your cupcakes turned out great despite the baking soda mishap. They’re perfectly domed. I have the problem of over filling them- happens every time!

    Cream cheese is definitely a food group. And a good one at that.

    PS, here’s the recipe:

    • mollystrz December 23, 2009 at 11:19 AM #

      Thank you for the recipe, Monica! And really, is there such a thing as TOO much filling in cupcakes? 🙂

      • Monica H February 1, 2010 at 11:44 PM #

        No such thing as too much filling, but I usually add too much batter to the liner and then they all bake together!


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