may create heart palpitations; will not create heaving bosoms

22 Jul

Lotion

The other day my friend JMac came over for dinner and was all, “I keep forgetting to give this to you, it’s been sitting in my apartment for weeks!” And when she handed over this bottle of lotion I fainted. And then when I came to I punched her for holding out on me.

If you’ve ever tried this lotion you would have punched her too. It’s that perfect blend of thick and creamy without being slick and greasy.  And you know how in Harlequin romance novels the heroine’s skin is always described as “soft and creamy”? Apparently all the heroines in Harlequin have been using this lotion, because that’s exactly what you get as the end result. It will not however, give you Fabio.

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