Jury Duty

8 May

The jury summons said that we should wear “business casual” attire to the courthouse, which, taking a quick poll of those who showed up Tuesday morning at 8 am to perform our civic duty – at least for the DC Superior Court – was interpreted very, very loosely.

Most were dressed casually, in jeans, button-down shirts, but a few showed up in flip flops, sweatpants, and the like, as if they simply didn’t have enough time from their exhausting sleeping schedule to put on real pants.

And then there were those at the opposite end.

One, actually.

She was dressed in a tight black skirt that ended six inches above her knees, a slit up the back that came just shy of showing us all whether or not she’d put on panties that morning. She wore a sunshine yellow top with a deep, ruffled neckline and a short, black jacket with a few metal details around the hem and trim. She carried a mustard yellow envelope clutch and her feet were clad in matching mustard yellow spike heels that had a cuff around the ankles. The area above her upper lip was pierced, and for today’s outing she’s donned what looked like a diamond pendant, the long pointed bar sticking through and hanging out in the open air like a diving board from her face, the diamond on the end of it the swimmer, maybe thinking of doing a swan dive into the woman’s cleavage. At best I would say she looked like she was going to a club later. At worst I would say she looked like a streetwalker who wandered into the wrong area of the courthouse.

I think the woman was called for a judge’s panel early in the day, because I didn’t see her again after those of us who weren’t called settled in for a viewing of the scintillating movie The Net starring Sandra Bullock and Mom Jeans.

Mom Jeans: also inappropriate for jury duty. And every other duty in life for that matter.

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