A Conversation About Lent

23 Mar


My friend JMac and I both gave up sweets for Lent. I also gave up booze. She also gave up Diet Coke. We are both quietly going insane.

JMac: Do you think a chai latte counts as a “sweet.” i.e, is it forbidden? I’m trying to decide, because I want to go down and get one but I have a vague concern that it constitutes cheating.

Me: No, I do not think a chai latte counts as a sweet. It is not forbidden. If you had said hot chocolate, obviously yes, that is a forbidden. But chai is tea, so it doesn’t count. Just like a regular latte wouldn’t count. Also, is peanut butter forbidden? Because I eat peanut butter toast with honey almost every morning for breakfast, and I don’t even think twice about it. I did, however, have a bite of Deb’s waffle the other day, and didn’t think twice about it until later, and then I did feel kind of bad, because pancakes and waffles are on my own personal verboten sweets list. Am going to hell. This Lent is dragging on FOREVER.

JMac: Can’t talk now I have a latte to get.


JMac: Ok, just for the mental health benefits, that was totally worth it. I hear you on the waffle, I feel sort of guilty because I had a bite of ginger ice cream on Emily’s birthday – I didn’t even enjoy it. Dude, it’s never going to be Easter. It just isn’t. It’s time we face facts.

Me: We are going to live in a world forever without oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and man catcher brownies. And champagne. All because Jesus couldn’t be bothered to rise again this year. Selfish sonofagod.

JMac: Totally. I can’t believe the prince of peace is doing this to us.

Me: Prince of pain in my ass is more like it. I just know he and Simon Peter are up there, laughing and pointing at us.



One Response to “A Conversation About Lent”

  1. sara March 24, 2009 at 9:09 AM #

    hahaha…i seriously felt like i was there with you during that conversation!!!

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