singing, couponing, and taxes: the life of the unemployed

I’ve recently found myself on the short end of the employment stick, and while there is much to dislike about unemployment, there is much to rejoice in. Here, a top 12 list of Good Things, re: Unemployment:

1. More time to research the actual words of songs, rather than what I think they are and have been singing for some time now. For example, the correct lyrics to the Four Tops’ song are actually, “ain’t no woman like the one I got,” NOT “ain’t no woman like a one-eyed slut.” Tell your friends.
2. When I go to the public library, I don’t feel so greedy when I check out seven books at once; now I can actually make a valiant attempt—and succeed—at reading all of them in the allotted two-week checkout time, instead of pretending like I have such exceptional time management that I can work, cook, eat, clean, exercise and read multiple books in as many weeks and don’t actually need to sleep.
3. I’ve always wanted to take up knitting.
4. No I haven’t.
5. More time to become the extreme couponer I’ve always wanted to be, even though those people terrify me.
6. Particularly because now that I ain’t got no job, saving money is more important than ever.
7. Except that, even in lean times, do I really need 1,247 packages of ramen noodles that I bought for -$5.22?
8. Finally a chance to dedicate more time to my passion: writing the next Great American Haiku.
9. Well, it is tax time….
10.   One word for you: Pinterest.
11.   I can finally go through the boxes I stashed in Swede’s basement a year ago and hopefully find my snowpants, even though apparently Old Man Winter is on vacation and was last seen slathering on SPF 75 and making a run for the beach.  Also, maybe I can find my salad spinner and bring it back to Chicago with me. I miss my salad spinner. Do you need your salad spun? I could do that for you. First spin is free, but after that, I’m charging. Gal’s got to make a living somehow, you know.
12.   More time for prayer. Because Holy Jesus I need a job if for no other reason than it’s been a week and a half and I’m already bored.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have some very important things to handle, such as making a nuisance of myself at the public library and manically pinning more things to my “Stuff to Wear” and “Wall Hangings” boards. For serious, people, it’s my busy season.

Tags: jobs, lists, nerd alert